Archive for the ‘happiness’ Category

THE BIG TWEET: Twitter, Facebook, Oprah, “Women, Food and God”

Maxing out your joy and minimizing the impact of upsets are learned skills. My blog is based on the belief we can learn from the experts, each other, and our own experiences. Circumstances may differ, but they often reflect common basic truths. Happiness is a Habit…we can learn how, practice, and have fun! Post your questions and comments, and I’ll try to show you how to be happy if…

THE BIG TWEET: Twitter, Facebook, Oprah, “Women, Food and God”

I’ve been reading Oprah Winfrey’s’ web interview with Geneen Roth, author of Women, Food and God ( featured in O Magazine). Geneen and Oprah (who finished the book in one gulp) believe that food addiction is an attempt to fill an emotional emptiness.

“Oprah: I think this book could have been called “Women, Shopping and God, or Women, Meth and God, or Women, Gambling and God,” since food is just one of the things we use to deny our own worthiness—for love, for godliness, for peace.”

Whoa!  That’s a lot of addiction! From chocolate to Jimmy Choo shoes! From pizza to Prada – from Meth clinics to online gaming sites!

So I started to wonder – am I an addict?

I have all the symptoms – dark circles under my eyes, disconnect from reality, trembling hands, the obsessive hunt  for a hit.

It’s true. I am addicted to… Facebook!

At first, I was in denial. I told myself I was a social user.  But the truth hit me in at 2 am – the dark night of the soul.

There I was, clicking away in the wee small hours of a Manhattan morning,  adding Facebook friends with all the frenzy of the cyber-friendless. Then I hit a snag. I spotted a tiny photo of a middle-aged (okay, my age) woman and clicked “Add as Friend.”

Soon after that, I read her response on my Facebook wall: “Do I know you?”

Now, I was not ready for this heavy-duty conversation. I mean,  does anyone really know anyone?…not only in the philosophical sense, but more importantly, in the Facebook sense.

I don’t like to waste my Facebook time on unrequited friendship, but I thought I’d give her another shot.

Her Facebook page said she lived in Florida, so I shot back.  “Maybe you know my sister. She lives in Florida.”

I thought that was fair and specific. I mean, Florida is just a state and has what – a  measly 18  million people? Facebook has 350 million registered users!  That’s a country! A big one! With a stable government!  I mean, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is president for life – and look at the trouble Obama is having!

But that Florida woman would have none of it.  Politely, but persistently, she kept trying to find out if we knew each other.  I wanted to say, “Know each other? In the Biblical sense?”  But this was Facebook, where (like the Holy Book) every remark is recorded for eternity.  So I bit my tongue  (or rather, clenched my typing fingers) and politely suggested that she might feel more comfortable being friends with people she knows. “Knows” means she has actually met them.

Not that I cared about actually meeting anyone.  By now I was deep in addiction.

And Facebook was only the gateway drug.  After a brief spell of weak-willed resistance, I joined Twitter.

Soon I was tweeting away – and thrilled to discover I could accumulate followers!  Followers? On Facebook all I got was friends. On Twitter I had followers!  Like I was some kind of guru!  Like Gandhi! But, of course, better dressed – and fed.  I mean, later for the loincloth and protest fasts!  As Oprah and Geneen remind me, it’s “Women, Food (or Shopping) and God” – not Women, Self-Denial, and God.

Oprah says that what women are really hungry for is not food – but “love, godliness, and peace, divine connection.”

Now I totally get this.  Why else would 350 million plus people be up at all hours of the night – clicking and tweeting away unless they were hungry for unconditional love and peace – the kind you can only get with cyber-friends – who don’t know you, don’t want to – and don’t make demands?

What about the hunger for godliness?

Twitter allows only 140 characters. That’s less than a blog, less than what’s on most Facebook walls – and way less than the average sermon.  No wonder more people visit Twitter than attend church!

Twitter asks only one question – “What are you doing?”  Now that’s marketing genius!   Unlike “Do I know you?” everybody can answer that question, because, well,  you’re always doing something!

Plus, Twitter inclines toward a refreshing frankness and lack of pretense. Ashton Kutcher, Top Tweeter on Twitter (5000 followers)  – says in his bio, “Actually I make up stuff, stories mostly, collaborations of thoughts, dreams, and actions. That’s me.”

In today’s techno world, we want our gurus to make stuff up, get to the point, and be doing something.

And gurus are certainly godly – at least to their followers.

People are hungry to twitter – to be each other’s gurus.

If you tell me what people hunger for, I’ll tell you what they worship .

Right now it looks like what people worship is — the BIG TWEET!

Can we find godliness, a.k.a. compassion, connection and inspiration in each other?

That’s what this blog is all about – helping each other learn how to be happy – based on our own real experiences.

But enough of these 2am thoughts.

A few hours later, I gulped coffee and headed for my English class.  I have admit that while I was teaching my students English grammar and poetic techniques, I was mentally obsessing about my Facebook friends and Twitter followers.

As I made my students turn off their cell phones,  I was counting the seconds till I get back to social networking.

I felt guilty but what could I do?  My addiction was out of hand. What was worse, I was coming down with a cold from lack of sleep.

So now I’m in rehab.

I make myself turn off my computer an hour before I go to sleep.  I’m exercising my body – not just my typing fingers. And I’m reminding myself that a real friend offers face time not just cyber-space time.

How can this help us be happy?

Happiness Habits

  • Face your addictions – that’s any habit that 1. you can’t control  2. interferes with your ability to lead a healthy, productive, enjoyable life
  • Find positive alternatives to addiction – like exercise, friends, and family.
  • If you get caught up in fantasy connections – to gorgeous celebrities, to cyberfriends, followers, and romances – take it for what it is – an exciting illusion. Your feelings may be intense – but they may not have much to do with what the other person is really like.
  • Enjoy your life – in and out of cyberspace!

“No matter what the music, learn how to dance!”
Hugs 2 U Dr. Sue
Dr. Susan Horowitz (aka Dr. Sue) is a Motivational Speaker, Media Host, Singer-Songwriter “CD: Dr. Sue “Keys of Love” , Author of “Queens of Comedy” (Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Ellen DeGeneres etc.) “Read with Me” (Children’s Book of the Month Club), “I Am Loved” (Inspirational Poetry) “Blog: HOW TO BE HAPPY IF”
copyright 2010 Dr. Susan Horowitz (aka Dr. Sue)

PROFESSOR AMY BISHOP / RateMyProfessors.com

Maxing out your joy and minimizing the impact of upsets are learned skills. My blog is based on the belief we can learn from the experts, each other, and our own experiences. Circumstances may differ, but they often reflect common basic truths. Happiness is a Habit…we can learn how, practice, and have fun! Post your questions and comments, and I’ll try to show you how to be happy if…

Professor Amy Bishop / RateMyProfessors.com:

How to Be Happy If People Are Rude

First off – rudeness is in the eye of the beholder – yours, mine, and Professor Amy Bishop’s.

Professor Bishop – who walked into her U. of Alabama department meeting and shot the senior professors who refused to give her tenure,  would be considered rude (to say the least)  by most standards  – but not by hers.

As an adjunct professor who didn’t get promoted (just like Prof. Bishop), I have also considered direct action. However, unlike Amy Bishop, I’m a poor shot. I’m also practical. After Amy’s revenge on the people who didn’t promote her, my first thought was, “Well, she won’t get tenure now!”

How true that is – you can’t get tenure (or a man*) with a gun!  You can get a moose (and a Republican nomination)  – two good reasons Sarah Palin owns one.   But since academic ambitions don’t usually call for firearms (except in Amy’s fevered imagination) and there are no moose in Manhattan,  I don’t own a gun.  (I do own a mini Swiss army knife, which I use for cutting apples. I did this in front of my 8 am English classes – which woke them up – “Whoa! Professor! You got a knife?”)

Anyway, when I didn’t get my own promotion, I went to talk to my Department Chair.  I have the usual defects (I’m well past my 20’s so I can’t be counted on for a long life in harness to the needs of the department) – plus some special ones (My Ph.D. is in Theatre, and I’m in the English Department – which means I crossed turfs – a no-no in academia).  However, my Department Chair did give me some advice: “Be collegial.”

Collegial?  Must have something to do with being non-rude. I think of myself as a friendly, polite person.  What could he mean? I asked a friend who had spent many years in the halls of academe.

My friend said: “Collegial means – kissing A**.”

But whose A**?  My students? I do spend 90% of my time with them. Does that count?

RatemyProfessors.com  is a student run internet site that ranks professors on a scale of 1 to 5 based on set criteria: easiness, clarity, and the reviewer’s interest in the subject matter.  Students also award professors chili pepper icons (for hot looks).

I haven’t actually checked my rating on RateMyProfessors.com. Being well acquainted with my own vanity, I would probably count chili peppers. But I think I’m okay because I regularly get Emails from students who are friends of former students and want to be in my classes. I hope this is also because they are learning the subject matter. (Actually, I know they are – and not by my grades alone, which, according to RateMyProfessors.com could be suspect. My 095 remedial classes are entirely made up of students who failed the college writing exam – which I do not grade.  By the end of our semester, they retake the exam. Many pass – several with scores that leapfrog the passing grade into higher numbers.)

But enough about me – what about Professor Amy Bishop? Was she rude to her students?

I checked out Amy Bishop on RateMyProfessors.com,  and came up with….Zero!  Nothing! However, on another search, she seemed to get reasonably favorable ratings.  Why the discrepancy? Could this be a cover up?

The news is full of articles about the carelessness – or cover up – that wiped out her history of violence (beginning with shooting her own brother, when she was 19, and continued with her alleged link (with her husband) to a pipe bomb aimed at a Harvard professor who ticked her off, and included a stop at IHOP, where she bitch-slapped a fellow patron for not giving up a booster seat to Amy’s child. (Amy is currently in custody. But police detonated a suspicious PVC pipe found inside the Huntsville home she occupied with husband Jim Anderson, who is still running around free!

Okay – I know I just slid into paranoia-land – where my colleagues are likely to include Amy and hubby Jim-who, I am mindful, is on the loose.  But apart from the presence of  loose screwballs, there is something to be said for rating one’s professors.

Why is student opinion irrelevant to keeping academic jobs or getting promotions?

Aren’t the students the ones we serve?

Maybe RateMyProfessors.com has some silly standards. But that could be updated and include more educational criteria.  Contrary to cynical opinion, most students want to learn – not waste their time.

They also want to be treated with compassion, caring, respect and responsibility – not rudeness. As do we all.

Amy Bishop is at the far end of a spectrum of poor anger management (and probably mentally unbalanced).  But she is certainly human.

Her belief that her own needs (like getting tenure and booster seats) completely override the rights of others is at the core of rude behavior.

That driver who cuts you off on the highway – endangering your safety; that person who curses into a cell phone on the elevator -polluting your ears; that date or appointment who stands you up – wasting your time and chipping away at your self-esteem – all little bits of Amy.

And, since this blog is titled, “How To Be Happy If …, how can thinking about the meaning of rudeness help us be happy?

Happiness Habits

  • Don’t take it personally. When someone is rude, it’s usually not about you -and it doesn’t demand confrontation.
  • Don’t escalate the argument. It’s usually counter-productive – the most angry, rude person wins (if you can call it winning).
  • Do take signs of an explosive temper seriously. Major abuse begins with little tests – if you go along with it, you enable it.
  • Do protect yourself and others – speak to authorities, file a report
  • If you’re the one with anger issues – get help – before it gets out of hand.
  • Do what you love – tenure or not, I love teaching – and for that I am very grateful.

(* “You Can’t Get a Man with a Gun” is a song by Irving Berlin from the great musical Annie Get Your Gun. Popular songs have taught me a lot – besides, they make me happy.)

“No matter what the music, learn how to dance”

Hugs 2 U Dr. Sue

Dr. Sue Horowitz is a Motivational, Entertaining Speaker, Singer-Songwriter, Professor, Author of “Queens of Comedy” (interviews with Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers, Phyllis Diller, Joy Behar, etc.),  “Read with Me” (Children’s Book of the Month Club), “I Am Loved” (Poetry)

Web: http://www.drsue.com

Keys of Love” –  positive songs on CD Baby – http://www.cdbaby.com/drsueDr. Susan Horowitz (aka Dr. Sue) is a Motivational Speaker, Media Host, Singer-Songwriter “CD: Dr. Sue “Keys of Love” , Author of “Queens of Comedy” (Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Ellen DeGeneres etc.) “Read with Me” (Children’s Book of the Month Club), “I Am Loved” (Inspirational Poetry) Blog: HOW TO BE HAPPY IF (https://drsue3.wordpress.com)

copyright 2010 Susan “Dr. Sue” Horowitz

husband Jim Anderson.

HAPPINESS HABITS

Maxing out your joy and minimizing the impact of upsets are learned skills. My blog is based on the belief we can learn from the experts, our own experiences,  and each other. Circumstances may differ, but they often reflect common basic truths. Happiness is a Habit…we can learn how, practice, and have fun! Post your questions and comments, and I’ll try to show you how you be happy if…

Happiness Habits

For Details, Scroll up & Click on Link (White Letters on Black Background)

  • Realistic Expectations/Flexible Behavior/Positive Focus
  • Set Goals, Acknowledge Success, Build in Rewards, Have Fun!
  • Do Your Deadlines, Do Your Daily, Do Your Dream!
  • Do what you love -include bits of what you love to do in what you have to do!
  • Prioritize and Focus. Do Needs then Treats: Do what you have to do so you can do what you get to do (The Great Debaters)
  • To Do, To Done, Ta-Dah! (Time Management)
  • Learn from everyone – wisdom and good tips show up in unexpected places
  • Be flexible and persistent
  • Focus on the positive – what opportunities does the situation offer?
  • Get accurate information – challenge your negative beliefs.
  • Vent by writing – on paper, Emails, blogs, etc. (Conflict Resolution)
  • Put things in perspective – how important is this in the large scheme of things?
  • Give people the benefit of the doubt – be slow  to accuse and quick to correct yourself (Conflict Resolution)
  • Communicate without accusation – ask questions, check facts – you won’t have to apologize later. (Conflict Resolution)
  • Set Clear  Goals – write them down, give yourself a deadline, measure your results
  • Live by and teach clear, fair rules, accountability, and ways of correcting mistakes
  • When you can’t get what you want, think about how to make yourself happy anyway
  • When someone is sad, listen and try to guide him/her to something positive. If they’ll go there, great! If not, get out of the swamp!
  • Make someone else happy – taking the focus off yourself and onto others can cheer you up!
  • Encourage other people to participate in positive activities – lead by example.
  • Find out what people already know and teach them something new -show respect for their knowledge and share yours
  • Avoid public confrontations (if possible) – you’ll get better cooperation and communication
  • Wear clothes and shoes that feel look, look good, and suit the occasion
  • Create and connect to a positive community of friends, family, and activity partners – and don’t expect people to be perfect
  • Be generous with your compliments – people crave appreciation
  • Pay attention to the person you’re with and don’t make or imply negative comparisons by comments or looks
  • Happiness is an inside job – you can’t change what’s outside you – you can change how you feel about it
  • Focus on the Positive – denial doesn’t work – but shifting focus does
  • Exercise regularly – it benefits your body, mind, and mood
  • Be friendly- you will brighten your day, make positive connections, and learn new things
  • Choose a supportive venue. It’s not just the activity – it’s the values of the crowd.
  • See things in context – it’s usually not about you – it’s about the other person’s needs.
  • Be friendly and courteous…copy good behavior – not bad.
  • Be a fun activity partner.  Improve your skills and be fun to be with.
  • Don’t take rudeness personally. When someone is rude, it’s usually not about you -and it doesn’t demand confrontation.
  • Don’t escalate the argument. It’s usually counter-productive – the most angry, rude person wins (if you can call it winning).
  • Do take signs of an explosive temper seriously. Major abuse begins with little tests – if you go along with it, you enable it.
  • Do protect yourself and others – speak to authorities, file a report
  • If you’re the one with anger issues – get help – before it gets out of hand.
  • Motivate yourself  and a friend. Be a “Happiness Buddy”
  • Face your addictions –  any habit that 1. you can’t control  2. interferes with leading a healthy, productive, enjoyable life
  • Find positive alternatives to addiction – like exercise, friends, and family.
  • Fantasy connections are exciting – but don’t have much to do with the other person
  • Enjoy your life – in and out of cyberspace!
  • Practice an attitude of gratitude
  • Do what you love

Please post your questions, stories, comments, and suggestions – we learn from each other!

“No matter what the music, learn how to dance”

Hugs 2 U Dr. Sue

Dr. Susan Horowitz is a Motivational, Entertaining Speaker, Professor, Singer-Songwriter (CD “Keys of Love”) and Author of “Queens of Comedy” (interviews with Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers, Phyllis Diller, Joy Behar, etc.) “Read with Me” (Children’s Book of the Month Club),  “I Am Loved” (Poetry).

Web: http://www.drsue.com 

Keys of Love” –  positive songs on CD Baby – http://www.cdbaby.com/drsue

copyright 2010 Susan “Dr. Sue” Horowitz

FRIENDSHIP

Dr. Sue's CD "Keys of Love"Maxing out your joy and minimizing the impact of upsets are learned skills. My blog is based on the belief we can learn from the experts, our own experience, and each other. Circumstances may differ, but they often reflect common basic truths. Happiness is a Habit…we can learn how, practice, and have fun! Post your questions and comments, and I’ll try to show you how you be happy if…

“A good friend is like a good bra – gives you support and makes you look good! A bad friend is like underwear that pinches when you get it home – you can’t get a refund and you can’t give it away – so take the loss and move on” – Dr. Sue

How to choose and be a friend – ask yourself a few questions and be honest

  • Does this person support me – does he/she have talents, knowledge, skills  (material support is one kind of help -there are many others – all of value) etc. that help me?
  • Does this person support me in being a better person – does being in this person’s company make me happier, kinder, more generous, more committed in working toward my goals, more confident…etc.?
  • Does this person show me appreciation-by words and/or deeds?
  • Do this person compliment me on my good qualities?
  • Does this person present me to others in a positive light?  Or does he/she put me down in front of others?
  • Does this person give me honest, caring feedback on how I am presenting myself?

Be a Good Friend – ask Yourself:

  • Do I support this person with my talents, knowledge, skills (material support is one kind of help -there are many others – all of value) etc.?
  • Do I support this friend in becoming a better person  – does being in my company make my friend happier, kinder, more generous, more committed in working toward goals, more confident…etc.?
  • Do I show my friend appreciation -by words and/or deeds?
  • Do I compliment my friend on his/her good qualities?
  • Do I present my friend to others in a positive light?  Do I put my friend down in front of others?
  • Do I give my friend honest, caring feedback on how he/she is presenting myself – when asked or when it seems to get in the way of my friend’s happiness and goals?
  • Giving advice and feedback can be tricky. I try to do it only when asked – and to relate my feedback to the goals and needs of the person asking.

Be Your Own Best Friend

  • Treat your time, feelings, talents, knowledge, skills, and body as if they have real value – because they do!
  • Set Limits. Being a friend does not mean that you say “yes” to everything. Sometimes you need to protect your time, privacy, or personal space by saying “no”. Try to do it in a way that is courteous and clear. This can be a challenge, so get help if you need it.

Be a good friend to your romantic partner

  • We sometimes put friends and romantic partners in different categories. While it’s true that being a good friend doesn’t necessarily make sparks fly, being a bad friend will put the fire out. To sustain your relationship, be a good friend.

Be a friend to different people on different levels

  • Co-workers, classmates, neighbors, people you meet on line and online – they’re all part of a vast social network – so be friendly – you’ll brighten everyone’s day.

None of us are perfect friends – but we can work on perfecting our friendships.

If you have questions about friendship (or any relationship that has a friendship aspect) please post your response below. I’ll do my best to answer it.

Hugs 2 U Dr. Sue

Happiness Buddies

I got this tip from the locker room attendant at the gym where I do my morning exercise. As I stopped to sip some water, she said, “You look like you had a good workout.”  I nodded and asked, “Can you tell?”  She nodded and said, “I feel like I need a buddy to motivate myself to exercise.”  I agreed that it helped.  In fact, one of the things that motivates me to get to the gym is the thought that I will run into  activities buddies- a female accountant who likes to swim – and a good-natured, strong-looking maintenance worker. I never see him actually exercise – mainly, he’s eating doughnuts and drinking coffee – but he does cheer me on. (He also told me he shoots hoops, but I told him he better exercise or he will get weaker, and I (all of 5′ 2″) will get stronger and beat him at basketball!

Anyway…we can create Happiness Buddies – in life or online and check in with each other on how we are learning and applying Happiness Habits to our lives. It will motivate us to think and act in a positive way, and enhance connections to others – essential to happiness.

By the way, I did not really feel like exercising this morning – but it is a Happiness Habit – so I did it anyway.

My body thanks me and so will yours – I mean your body will thank you – didn’t mean to get personal 🙂

Let me know if  you find a Happiness Buddy- and post your responses below.

Happiness Habits

  • Motivate yourself  and a friend. Be “Happiness Buddies”
  • Learn from everyone
  • Exercise regularly – it benefits your body, mind, and mood
  • Be friendly – you will brighten your day, make connections, and learn new things
  • “No matter what the music, learn how to dance”

    Hugs 2 U Dr. Sue

    Dr. Susan Horowitz (aka Dr. Sue) is a Motivational Speaker, Media Host, Singer-Songwriter CD “Keys of Love” (www.cdbaby.com/drsue), Author of “Queens of Comedy” (Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers, Phyllis Diller, Ellen DeGeneres, etc.) “Read with Me” (Children’s Book of the Month Club), “I Am Loved” (Inspirational Poetry), Blog: HOW TO BE HAPPY IF (https://drsue3.wordpress.com)

    copyright 2010 Susan “Dr. Sue” Horowitz

CLEAN UP CLUTTER: (Ellen Degeneris/Trash into Treasure)

Trash into Treasure?

@howtobehappyif “What you keep in your drawers can keep you!” Dr. Sue

Happiness Habit: Clean Up Clutter- Trash into Treasure

On Ellen Degeneres’ TV show, I hear her talking about “hoarding – a debilitating, embarrassing mental health disorder for 3 to 6 million people.”
Whoa! That’s a lot of people!

I start to wonder. Am I a hoarder? How can I tell? I have to admit my drawers are a little cluttered. I decide to look through my underwear drawer. Hmm. My oldest item is 2,000 years old!

I’m not kidding. My dad, who collected antiques from the Holy Land, left me an ancient glass vase. I love my little vase – its metallic, corroded green color, with just a touch of  encrusted, holy dirt. I certainly don’t want to mess it up by using for daisies. So I do the sensible thing – put it in a plastic bag and stick it underneath my bikini panties with the stretched out elastic. I know that someday I am going to fit back into the panties – just like someday I am going to find a wonderful place to display the glass vase. (Maybe on a shelf in my bookcase after I clear out the books, magazines, newspapers…this is embarrassing!)

What about the drawer under that? Hmm. Old name tags, campaign buttons, ribbons and scrunchies (my hair is too short for either). Should I clean up the clutter? Do I have enough time? While I’m thinking it over, I decide to read The New York Times .

There’s an article about gold being at an all time high. Whoa!  Under that mess, there’s some old jewelry that I always mean to wear, but never do (wrong color, broken clasp, missing earring etc.).  Didn’t I meet a lady at a party a year ago who owns a store where they buy, sell, and pawn jewelry?  There it is: GEM Financial Services, Inc., Brooklyn.

I may not be good at cleaning up clutter. However, I do like to make easy money, and I am good at deadlines. I make an appointment for 4pm and start searching feverishly for my ring.  I love my beautiful, old ring …but I never wear it  because the setting sticks up and catches on everything – which irritates me (irritation is not a happiness habit).  Use it or lose it!   Bye-bye ring.

I find the ring, plus $100 in cash and travelers checks, and the pearls with the broken clasp that I got for my bat mitzvah. That means I got them when I was thirteen years old.  (How long ago is that, anyway?  I could subtract thirteen from my current age …forget it! I don’t do subtraction – or addition – unlike you Nosy Parkers at school reunions who read my graduation year on my name tag and do the math  in your heads.  Like my old jewelry, I’m still a pearl of a girl – that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!)

Anyway, I cart my old jewelry off to Brooklyn to have it appraised, fixed, and/or discarded.  The jewelry nets me$216 in cash, minus $16 to have my pearls re-strung.  Plus, I can now wear my beautiful ring – Eileen Kaminsky, the owner – a gem of a friend – asks her jeweler to fix it for free!

What about my 2000 year old glass vase? It is currently decorating my desk by my computer as  I Tweet, Facebook and Blog about clutter. Everything old is new again!

Happiness Habits:

  • Clean up clutter!  The enemy is procrastination – give yourself a deadline and a reward!
  • Turn trash into treasure – you might find money, jewelry, or antiques you can sell (Antique Road Show, anyone?)
  • Clutter management is time management – you don’t waste time and energy looking  for stuff
  • Less is More: Eliminating stuff you don’t use means access to stuff you do use!
  • Accomplishing a task is an antidote to depression and a Happiness Habit

So what are you waiting for? Clean up your clutter and send it to me (I have empty drawers that could use it) Just kidding! lol!

Please post your comments below – or ask questions.

How does clutter show up in your life?

Are you hanging onto stuff that doesn’t work for you?

Old clothes? Old objects? Old relationships? Old ways of thinking or behaving?

Let’s clean up the clutter and move on to a beautiful, happy life!

“No matter what the music, learn how to dance!”

Hugs 2 U Dr. Sue

Dr. Susan Horowitz (aka Dr. Sue) is a Motivational Speaker, Media Host, Singer-Songwriter CD “Keys of Love” (www.cdbaby.com/drsue), Author of “Queens of Comedy” (Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Ellen DeGeneres etc.), “Read with Me” (Children’s Book of the Month Club), “I Am Loved” (Inspirational Poetry) Blog: HOW TO BE HAPPY IF (https://drsue3.wordpress.com)

copyright 2010 Susan “Dr. Sue” Horowitz

KIRSTIE ALLEY (“My Big Life:) / OPRAH WINFREY

Maxing out your joy and minimizing the impact of upsets are learned skills. My blog is based on the belief we can learn from the experts, our own experience, and each other. Circumstances may differ, but they often reflect common basic truths. Happiness is a Habit…we can learn how, practice, and have fun! Post your questions and comments, and I’ll try to show you how you be happy if…

KIRSTIE ALLEY (“My Big Life:) / OPRAH WINFREY

As a blizzard blankets New York, I think about layers of meaning for the word “snow job” Besides the flakes of white stuff whirling past my window and providing employment for street cleaners, “snow job” reminds me of the blather of celebs hawking their latest products and shows. To wit – yesterday on Oprah Winfrey’s talk show, Kirstie Alley – who is mainly famous for being fat – was spokesmodeling her personal weight-loss system. This system includes chicken wings with skin (where the fat is) and a green drink.

Immediately after these revelations, we broke for an infomercial, where experts informed us that obesity leads to diabetes, heart disease, and other revolting developments.  Who am I to believe? The medical experts – or celeb spokesmodels like Ms. Alley?

Ms. Alley also has a new TV reality show “My Big Life”, where, as a dateless single mom,  she raises kids, looks for a man,  and gives diet and decorating advice – like how to decorate a bedroom for romance.

Whoa! Talk about multi-tasking!  And what does this say about pop culture and celebrities?

Is celebrity itself a qualification?  Does Ms. Alley’s career as a sitcom star and former spokesmodel for a weight loss product (Jenny Craig) provide the credentials to tell people how to lose weight and gain romance?  Does her life in a romantic desert (with dessert) qualify her to advise the public?  I guess so – at least if you want to take the advice.

I know this blog post is a bit tongue-in-cheek, but, staying on focus with my theme “How To Be Happy If…” here goes –

Happiness Habits

  • Do what you love  (in this case, watching talk shows)
  • Make room for the occasional treat – like dishing celebs and pop culture
  • Learn from everyone – I have to admire Kirstie’s spunk and the way she makes the most of what she’s got

“No matter what the music, learn how to dance!”
Hugs 2 U Dr. Sue
Dr. Susan Horowitz (aka Dr. Sue) is a Motivational Speaker, Media Host, Singer-Songwriter “CD: Dr. Sue “Keys of Love” , Author of “Queens of Comedy” (Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Ellen DeGeneres etc.) “Read with Me” (Children’s Book of the Month Club), “I Am Loved” (Inspirational Poetry) “Blog: HOW TO BE HAPPY IF”
copyright 2010 Dr. Susan Horowitz (aka Dr. Sue)

HOW TO BE HAPPY IF…It’s Storming (The Wizard of Blizzard)

Maxing out your joy and minimizing the impact of upsets are learned skills. My blog is based on the belief we can learn from the experts – and each other. Circumstances may differ, but they often reflect common basic truths. Happiness is a Habit…we can learn how and practice. Post your questions and comments, and I’ll try to show you how you be happy if…

How to Be Happy If It’s Storming (The Wizard of Blizzard)

Starting a blog about happiness on a day of spectacularly “bad” weather seems both ironic and appropriate – since I believe that happiness is an inside job. Of course, it sometimes seems to take “magical” thinking to transform the negative into positive. That’s why I call it “The Wizard of Blizzard.”  Like any magic trick, we get better with practice – so I decided to practice on the weather – and on my students.

When I walked into my classroom, one of my students looked at the snow swirling outside the window, made a sour face and said, “Look at that disgusting weather!”   I said, “Nice to be inside!” The students had to agree – it was!

Then I told them a story about two friends of mine who sent me Emails comparing their sunny, warm weather to my snowstorms. I Emailed them back – “Cold outside – warm inside!”  (I guess my friends got their happiness from a touch of schadenfreud – the German word for delight in the pain of others.)

One of my students said that when she goes on vacation, she sends her friends postcards comparing her fabulous, sunny weather with the cold back home.  I said, “Well if that makes you happy, I’m happy.”

Now, I don’t actually write my friends about how my vacation weather is superior to the cold back home – I figure they don’t want to hear it.  But I do like to think about it – so, while it’s not nice to admit, maybe I have a touch of schadenfreud too!

I think that a positive attitude takes practice – if we practice on little things like the weather, we’ll have the mental muscle for bigger things.  Also, I don’t believe in denial – the weather is cold and snowy – but we can decide where to focus – on the cold weather – or on our good fortune in being inside, having warm winter coats, gloves, hoods, hats, earmuffs, boots, etc.

Anyway, I came home to a warm cup of spiced tea and smooth jazz while the blizzard roared outside.

As the song goes: “The weather outside is frightful, but in here it’s so delightful…let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…”

Happiness Habits

  • Remind yourself that happiness is an inside job – you can’t change the weather – you can change how you feel about it
  • Shift focus – denial doesn’t work – but you can shift focus from what you don’t like to what’s positive in your situation
  • Practice an attitude of gratitude – warm clothes, warm home, warm tea – not bad in a blizzard!

“No matter what the music, learn how to dance”

Hugs 2 U Dr. Sue

Web: http://www.drsue.com 

Keys of Love” –  positive songs on CD Baby – http://www.cdbaby.com/drsue

copyright 2010 Susan “Dr. Sue” Horowitz